Top 10 reasons NOT to fish with Mattsabasser

There is a bit of hubbub over at OBN about the get together supposedly coming to Denver in the summer. A writing prompt has been initiated asking which fellow bloggers they would most likely meet or even hang out with. I am going to admit that my name will be overlooked, possibly even shunned from the “fishing wish list” and with good reason.

The folks that actually read my blog have come to realize that I am a bit cantankerous and possibly even antisocial towards some humans. My fishing excursions may also look a bit sadistic at times with cliff dives, long hikes and even that one porcupine that I stumbled across on the early morning trail in 2010. There are so many reasons that people choose not to fish with me but for the sake of this post I will try to narrow it down to some sort of Top 10.

1. Fishing is more than a pastime for me. It is an obsession. I don’t think fishing should be relaxing or even fun. We are there to catch fish.

2. Beer and other alcoholic beverages are not to be consumed when fishing. We are there to fish, not to get drunk. I am not entirely against getting drunk afterwards.

3. Most of my fishing places do not allow the use of live bait and all rules, regulations will be respected. I have also been known to blindfold people before the trip to ensure the fishing location cannot be found later.

4. 99% of the time we will be releasing the fish. (Yellow perch and some fish may be harvested as needed but generally as a rule the fish are going back with as minimal harm as possible.) The local grocer will have a seafood section we can hit on the way back if you absolutely need to eat fish.

5. There is a good chance that I will pollute your mentality with my conspiracy theories, conservation rants and even voodoo curses about fishing.

6. We probably won’t be going for trout. By summer my panfish addiction may be in overdrive as well as a good bass fix will be in order. With enough daylight and fuel, an angler can do both in Colorado within a single day.

7. I will bring a spin rod. (I will have a fly rod as well but will mostly use the spin gear depending on what the fish want.) This is a huge source of discontent for a lot of anglers in Colorado for some reason. “If you didn’t catch that fish with a fly rod…you cheated”.

8. I will ask you take pictures of me with my fish. It will start to wear on you after a while if I am the only one doing any of the catching. Oh and I curse a little bit too if the fish doesn’t cooperate with the photo op.

9. I don’t bring extra water or supplies. Sometimes I barely bring enough for myself. It’s a real problem for me actually. But if you carry extra supplies in I will gladly help you utilize them.

10. You will have to get up very early, stay out very late and do a lot of walking, rowing or other extraneous activity to reach the fish. I do not guarantee you will catch fish. A lot of people take one fishing trip with me and take one trip only for this reason more than the others.

For these reasons and many more it will be no stretch of the imagination that my name will rise to the top of the other list. The list of people they most likely don’t want to meet or fish with at the OBN Rendezvous or ever for that matter. This is not done to exclude me per say but does support or otherwise highlight the vast intelligence of the awesomely fantastic OBN Community.

People do occasionally ask me for fishing trips and have made the mistake of actually showing up at the appropriate time (there is a 15-minute window before the truck leaves). They assume I have a big fancy boat and the fish will just jump right in their laps. After an hour they realize this is going to be a lot of work and start remembering crucial appointments or even medical excuses.

(Above: I don’t guide for many reasons. But if I did run a fishing guide service the promotional material would look similar to this. (Sigh) My disclaimer could use some work.)

The bloggers I would like most to meet would be Joe and Rebecca. Being able to thank them for creating OBN in person would be pretty amazing. Searching and finding outdoor blogs is fairly difficult for me for some reason. After becoming a member of OBN the list of blogs I follow has doubled and my follow list has grown as well. Blogger highlights, the forum, gear reviews…the list goes on and on. Once again, Joe and Rebecca, thank you.

Lastly, there are a few bloggers and readers who have reached out to me and I hope to connect with them in some fashion for 2011. Nothing has been written in stone as of yet and I may need an e-mail reminder here and there to keep the dates on target.

With most appreciation,

Mattsabasser