Craziest story of 2011: My truck talks to outer space

Reach the trailhead with my trusty Pathfinder vehicle, grab the gear, shut the doors and lock up. A faint ringing noise comes from the engine compartment. Don quickly looks up at me.

“You hear that noise? What the $%^ is that?”

“Oh that is just my truck.”

The faint ringing suddenly gets a bit louder and starts going “Brrrrrrr….wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii….yooooop…brrrrrrr.” (That is the best I can explain it using human language). This isn’t a very loud noise like a car’s alarm mind you but more of a subtle humming electronic sound. Then the door locks pop up for no reason unlocking the doors. Don thought I had installed a remote switch and was just messing with him. Of course I reacted like this was simply business as usual. A few seconds later the truck locks the doors again while I am carrying; two fishing rods, a tackle bag and what is left of my sanity from a hard week at the office. Don once again looks at me with question and concern.

“Are you sure that is normal? Are we going to make it out of here?” Don stopped gearing up as the level of concern grew in his voice.  

“We’re good.” My head gave a steadfast yup-nod. "My truck just talks to outer space sometimes.” This is the only answer that my feeble skills and prodding have come up with. “The locking dealio is a short somewhere in the electronics. Replaced the door switch thinking that was it.”

Don gave me another concerned stare with his head cocked sideways and started moving down the trail. “If you say so. But you are carrying me home if not cuz I aint walking 70-miles.”

We fished the stretch and did “ok”, not great. Just ok. Get back to the vehicle and unlock the doors. The engine starts up with one turn of the key. Breathing a deep sigh of relief inside I give Don that nod of overwhelming confidence that was a complete façade.

“See? We’re good.” I said with a straight face. “One of these days though aliens are going to suck that truck up for no good reason and zip off to outer space.”

This was at one time a great 4wheel drive vehicle on many levels. Over the years I have more or less settled on finding as much value in the “already driven” section as opposed to brand spanking new in the 6cyl arena. This means scanning ads and sometimes subjecting myself to used car dealers. Then sadly over the years I beat the piss out of whatever I buy. Certain things I am strict on such as oil changes, new tires and fixing things before they become a problem. Nearly a hundred thousand miles have been put on this rig with roughly 6K and some change into it. The thing still runs great but getting too rough around the edges even for me. I am in the market for something else.

“This truck won’t run forever or maybe even another year.” I say with a bit of nostalgia in my throat. “Besides the fact aliens are probably going to snatch this thing up any minute.”

Good luck and good fishing.